I read something recently that said “The way we spend our days is the way we spend our lives.” It was a catchy phrase that I agreed with and was challenged by at the same time. Now, I’m a happy person. I think I lead a pretty normal life for a middle class American gal. Life’s got ups and downs and can move at a fast clip that can be overwhelming at times. I love having a sense of structure to keep me feeling grounded and filled with joy. Here’s some things that I do daily that I believe help keep balance and joy in my household:
1. Thank God
While it is often a struggle to have long times of prayer, I thank God continually throughout the day for all the blessings I see. I thank Him for beautiful skies, for my amazing family and friends, for my home, for my car, for my health. I thank Him for the things that I never want to take for granted, I thank Him as soon as I realize a blessing. I even thank Him for tough times that come, because even then, He is present.
2. Read the Bible
Bible + Coffee = A good day! Since I drink at least a cup of coffee every day and don’t like to have it with food or get myself ready in between sips, it requires me to sit still for at least 10 minutes. This is perfect for a regular Bible reading time. If time allows, I keep the coffee pouring and the pages turning. I love starting my day this way.
3. Pray with family
A time that we never forget, no matter if we’re running behind, or have no schedule in particular. Before we leave the house, we pray together. Thanking God for being there, guiding and protecting us throughout the day, is one more thing that helps keep our paths straight.
4. Pick up after ourselves
Fundamental, but necessary. This is one of the things that brings more balance than joy to most of us. I have this funny little expectation that everyone should be responsible for their own things. Crazy, right? This is a battle that is fought every day. Maybe one of these days it will catch on and the messes will stop accumulating around the house. Just maybe...
5. Assign chores and a time to stop them
Another one of those “balance” things. All of us loathe chores, but if we have a set time to be done, we have a little less moaning and groaning about it. Sometimes we literally set a time. We call it “Hour of Power.” Really, we do. Sometimes we go for the length of a CD, call it quits at 5:30, or hang up the towel after finishing a list of assigned chores. We mix it up, but the most important thing for all of us is to have the reassurance that we won’t be cleaning the entire day.
6. Time for family
I do not like reaching the end of the day and realizing that I haven’t spent much quality time with my family. Time spent individually with family members is just as important as the time we spend all together. While individual time doesn’t necessarily work out every day, I like to make sure we do have quality family time daily. Time can be spent together in any number of ways, but it doesn’t always have to be going out and spending a bunch of money. Our family lives off of a tight budget that doesn’t allow us to go out frequently. What is most important is the quality of the time spent. From errands and chores to games and movies, we do life together.
7. Time for me
Over the years, I have seen so many individual melt-downs due to the fact that people don’t take time to take care of themselves. It happens a lot with mothers and caregivers. People that give so much to others, yet don’t take any time for themselves. This leads to bitterness, frustration, exhaustion, depression, and many other feelings that can eat you alive. I see taking a little time for myself as a necessity, and I feel it by the end of the day if I haven’t done this. I read a book, watch a show, visit with friends, or simply sit down and do nothing for a little bit (see #8). The importance of whatever I choose to do is that I do it to take care of myself. Give myself a little attention. It might sound selfish, but I believe I have value too.
8. Sit down
There are those days when you just can’t have time to yourself. Days when there is so much to do and you’ll be behind even if you don’t stop. But stop. Everyone needs to take a break sometimes. The difference between taking time for me (#7) and sitting down is the activity level. I’m the type of person that gets overstimulated and needs time to recover. For me, there’s a difference between reading a book and just sitting. I guess I just need a little time for my brain to hush up a bit.
9. Tell my family I love them
I don’t just do this once a day, but several times! My husband and my kids deserve to know (and keep on knowing) that I love them and appreciate them. We also give lots of hugs and kisses.
10. Forgive
Have you ever had a day (week/month/year) when something that someone did (or is doing) nags at your brain, constantly causing frustration, hurt, anger, bitterness, and such? Let me tell you a little secret: When you forgive them, it gets better! The level of hurt inflicted definitely varies, and you might need to forgive the same person for the same thing repeatedly, but I have definitely seen this work in my life and don’t even want to consider how I would be today without both giving and receiving forgiveness. Admitting wrong dissolves guilt. Forgiving wrongs (or any kind of hurt, whether it was intended to hurt you or not) dissolves anger, bitterness, and frustration. It’s amazing!
1. Thank God
While it is often a struggle to have long times of prayer, I thank God continually throughout the day for all the blessings I see. I thank Him for beautiful skies, for my amazing family and friends, for my home, for my car, for my health. I thank Him for the things that I never want to take for granted, I thank Him as soon as I realize a blessing. I even thank Him for tough times that come, because even then, He is present.
2. Read the Bible
Bible + Coffee = A good day! Since I drink at least a cup of coffee every day and don’t like to have it with food or get myself ready in between sips, it requires me to sit still for at least 10 minutes. This is perfect for a regular Bible reading time. If time allows, I keep the coffee pouring and the pages turning. I love starting my day this way.
3. Pray with family
A time that we never forget, no matter if we’re running behind, or have no schedule in particular. Before we leave the house, we pray together. Thanking God for being there, guiding and protecting us throughout the day, is one more thing that helps keep our paths straight.
4. Pick up after ourselves
Fundamental, but necessary. This is one of the things that brings more balance than joy to most of us. I have this funny little expectation that everyone should be responsible for their own things. Crazy, right? This is a battle that is fought every day. Maybe one of these days it will catch on and the messes will stop accumulating around the house. Just maybe...
5. Assign chores and a time to stop them
Another one of those “balance” things. All of us loathe chores, but if we have a set time to be done, we have a little less moaning and groaning about it. Sometimes we literally set a time. We call it “Hour of Power.” Really, we do. Sometimes we go for the length of a CD, call it quits at 5:30, or hang up the towel after finishing a list of assigned chores. We mix it up, but the most important thing for all of us is to have the reassurance that we won’t be cleaning the entire day.
6. Time for family
I do not like reaching the end of the day and realizing that I haven’t spent much quality time with my family. Time spent individually with family members is just as important as the time we spend all together. While individual time doesn’t necessarily work out every day, I like to make sure we do have quality family time daily. Time can be spent together in any number of ways, but it doesn’t always have to be going out and spending a bunch of money. Our family lives off of a tight budget that doesn’t allow us to go out frequently. What is most important is the quality of the time spent. From errands and chores to games and movies, we do life together.
7. Time for me
Over the years, I have seen so many individual melt-downs due to the fact that people don’t take time to take care of themselves. It happens a lot with mothers and caregivers. People that give so much to others, yet don’t take any time for themselves. This leads to bitterness, frustration, exhaustion, depression, and many other feelings that can eat you alive. I see taking a little time for myself as a necessity, and I feel it by the end of the day if I haven’t done this. I read a book, watch a show, visit with friends, or simply sit down and do nothing for a little bit (see #8). The importance of whatever I choose to do is that I do it to take care of myself. Give myself a little attention. It might sound selfish, but I believe I have value too.
8. Sit down
There are those days when you just can’t have time to yourself. Days when there is so much to do and you’ll be behind even if you don’t stop. But stop. Everyone needs to take a break sometimes. The difference between taking time for me (#7) and sitting down is the activity level. I’m the type of person that gets overstimulated and needs time to recover. For me, there’s a difference between reading a book and just sitting. I guess I just need a little time for my brain to hush up a bit.
9. Tell my family I love them
I don’t just do this once a day, but several times! My husband and my kids deserve to know (and keep on knowing) that I love them and appreciate them. We also give lots of hugs and kisses.
10. Forgive
Have you ever had a day (week/month/year) when something that someone did (or is doing) nags at your brain, constantly causing frustration, hurt, anger, bitterness, and such? Let me tell you a little secret: When you forgive them, it gets better! The level of hurt inflicted definitely varies, and you might need to forgive the same person for the same thing repeatedly, but I have definitely seen this work in my life and don’t even want to consider how I would be today without both giving and receiving forgiveness. Admitting wrong dissolves guilt. Forgiving wrongs (or any kind of hurt, whether it was intended to hurt you or not) dissolves anger, bitterness, and frustration. It’s amazing!
When my life just doesn’t seem quite right, it is usually due to one of these things being neglected. These are the things that I see as most important to living a balanced and joy filled life. Trust me, I do not have it all together. No one knows that better than me. There are so many ways I feel insufficient, but I just take each day at a time and allow myself to grow and be stretched. The way we spend our days is the way we spend our lives. So true. I think that says it all.